3 months ago…

18 Oct

Well, three months ago on Friday. I had been admitted into South Miami Hospital to induce my labor. I remember everything I was feeling: Scared, excited, scared, nervous, anxious, and scared. You hear all these stories about “the worst pain in the world is labor pain.” Thanks a lot, people! I had passed my July 11th due date and I was beyond ready to have my baby. I wanted to bend over, sleep on my belly, see my feet again when I looked down. But most of all, I wanted to see my baby’s face. Look into his eyes and finally meet this little person who had been growing inside of me for nine (ten) months. My doctor said I had not dilated at all and I would need a little help getting labor started.

Upon being admitted at the hospital, I was administered Cervidil, which is  a drug used to prepare the cervix for the induction of labor in pregnant women who are at or near term. It was like a little tampon which was supposed to be in for 12 hours, then I would be given pitocin to kick up the contractions. Being the google queen that I am, I did my research about the drug and prepared myself for what was to come. With hubby by my side, I slept through the night from about 2 AM until about 7. Although I read that Cervidil rarely starts labor, I was having very active contractions and had dilated to 4 centimeters when I was checked in the morning. By 9 AM, I was desperate for my epidural. 9 hours later, I was about 8 centimeters dilated when the doctor decided to finally give me some pitocin so I can “get this baby out.” That’s when the scariest experience of my life took place.

Within 10 minutes of being given the drug, my baby’s heartbeat dropped to about 25 beats per minute. For those who don’t know… Baby’s normal heartbeat is between 110 and 160 bpm. Suddenly, there were about 6 nurses in the room along with my doctor who was explaining to me that we had to have an emergency c-section or the baby could die. I was hysterical, while my husband took off my jewelry and I was wheeled off into the Operating room. I never prepared myself for a C-Section! All I could do was close my eyes and pray that my baby would be okay. C-sections are scary. You feel everything! Anyhow, at 7:09 PM, on July 15th, I heard the most beautiful sound in the world… My baby crying. Matthew Anakin was here, with me, safe and sound. He weighed 8 lbs, 8 oz and measured 19 inches! The best moment in my life thus far, is captured in these pictures:

Words can’t explain what you feel when you become a mom, but I can try:

Your heart feels like it’s going to explode with love. Also with worry. All of a sudden, you think about everything and anything that can happen to your little one and are willing to give your life to protect him from the outside world. When those little eyes look at me, I can’t help but thank God for allowing me to raise this child of His. What a privilege it is.

Dear Matty,

You are three months old now. You recognize me and daddy and your grandparents and you smile when you see us. Most of the times in the morning after you’ve had your breakfast and we get ready to change you, you are so talkative! You spend your mornings “talking” and laughing with your grandma, your auntie, and I. You weigh 17 lbs, and measure about 23 inches. You’ve grown so much! You love tummy time, and you have started to roll onto your back. You have begun to grab your bib and blankie, or any object within your reach and bring it to your mouth. Daddy discovered your love for the Angry Birds app and you are mesmerized every time we put it on for you. You love when Daddy reads you the very hungry caterpillar, and you give him your full attention every time. You love to sleep in the bed with me, and you hate your bassinet. It’s okay, because mommy loves sleeping snuggling with you.

I just want you to know that I would do anything for you. I pray every day that God makes me into the best possible mother I can be to you. I know I am far from perfect. But I adore you. I pray for you, your future, that God protects you and that you will live a life after God’s heart. I promise I will be there for you every step of the way. I love you.

This is the song that mommy dedicated to you.

Bad English- When I see you Smile

Sometimes I wonder
How I’d ever make it through,
Through this world without having you
I just wouldn’t have a clue

‘Cause sometimes it seems
Like this world’s closing in on me,
And there’s no way of breaking free
And then I see you reach for me

Sometimes I wanna give up
I wanna give in,
I wanna quit the fight
And then I see you, baby
And everything’s alright,
everything’s alright

When I see you smile
I can face the world, oh oh,
you know I can do anything
When I see you smile
I see a ray of light, oh oh,
I see it shining right through the rain
When I see you smile
Oh yeah, baby when I see you smile at me

Baby there’s nothing in this world
that could ever do
What a touch of your hand can do
It’s like nothing that I ever knew

And when the rain is falling
I don’t feel it,
’cause you’re here with me now
And one look at you baby
Is all I’ll ever need,
you’re all I’ll ever need


Sometimes I wanna give up
I wanna give in,
I wanna quit the fight
And then I see you baby
And everything’s alright,
everything’s alright

So right…


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